


A Hero's Diary

by RachelTikvah



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Gen, Linkle Mod, Linkle is just Link post-transition, Nobody's done that before, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Lesbian, Wow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:26:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25421611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelTikvah/pseuds/RachelTikvah
Summary: In the year leading up to the Calamity, Link starts writing his innermost thoughts in a journal from his childhood. But as more months pass and the swordsman begins helping Zelda and the Champions prepare, he starts to realize things about himself that are difficult to face. Can the Hero of the Wild muster the courage to be her authentic self?This is an experimental fic in a format that I've never tried before. Instead of a third-person narrative, this is framed as a series of first-person journal entries in two parts: pre-Calamity, when Link is first figuring out his gender identity; and post-Calamity, when she finds herself on her own and has to make sense of it all. I'm proud to present you with a story of trans awakening inspired by the BOTW Linkle Mod and written by me, a trans woman. I hope that you like it!
Comments: 18
Kudos: 54





	1. Memories

**10 B.C. (Before Calamity)**

Dear Diary,

Happy birthday to me! I just turned seven and dad got me a journal so I’m gonna write in it every day!!! Dad said that he didn’t think I would rember to keep doing it but I told him that he’s wrong!!! Okay, see you tomorrow!!!

Love,

Link

**0 B.C., 12 Jabunary**

Earlier today, I was officially named as the Hylian Champion and they say that I’m a favorite to be the princess’s royal guard as well. The next few years will probably be some of the most eventful of my life, so I decided to start keeping this ~~diary~~ journal again. I wonder what dad would say if he knew he was right all those years ago—I lost this thing pretty much right after my birthday, and by the time I found it behind my bed years later my excitement had long since faded. It’s really kind of funny.

Anyway, this seems like enough for now. I’ll make another entry when something interesting happens.

 ~~L~~ Sincerely,

Link

**0 B.C., 26 Jabunary**

All of the Champions were gathered at the castle today for a formal ceremony. It was my first time meeting a couple of them, though there were also some warm reunions. Revali doesn’t seem to like me much, and Urbosa…wow. What can I say? She’s a bit intimidating, but clearly a kind soul. Daruk took some time to tell me about all the new places he’s found Rock Roast—it’s nice to see that he hasn’t changed a bit. Finally, Mipha. She looked gorgeous in her blue shawl. It’s only been a few weeks since I was last up at Zora’s Domain, but I missed her a lot. Daruk pushing us together during the picture was pretty funny, he’s always teasing me about how I was a toddler when I first met her, but I don’t think anybody really cares about that now. Age is weird, and it’s even weirder when you factor in different lifespans. What matters is that I got to see her again.

As a side note: Daruk called me ‘brother’ again today, and something about it hit me in a weird way. It’s not the level of intimacy—I’ve known him for a while, and we enjoy each other’s company well enough. So what didn’t I like about it? I’ll have to think on that, maybe write more about it in a later entry.

Sincerely,

Link

**0 B.C., 15 Farorary**

Something’s wrong with me.

I don’t feel real. Nothing feels real. It’s like I’m floating. I'm trying not to panic.

Hoping that if I write more it might anchor me. Okay, here goes. It’s early morning, I don’t know what time. I’m in a tent outside of Gerudo Town, and it’s chilly but I’m wearing thick clothes. I can feel the sand under the canvas of the tent. Maybe if I write about what happened today, it might help?

Zelda’s been going into Gerudo Town more and more because she doesn’t like it when I’m guarding her, even though that’s my job. I can’t follow her, because ~~I’m a ma~~ I’m not allowed inside. So Urbosa suggested that I wear a Gerudo outfit with a veil to blend in with the women, and I said yes. I was desperate for a solution, who could blame me? I figured that I would feel uncomfortable wearing it, but it felt…it was such a natural feeling that I didn’t really want to take it off and change back into my other clothes when I was done for the day. Urbosa said that she would put Zelda up in her guest quarters, but I took a walk around town while the sun was setting just to stall for time. It took forever to fall asleep after changing out of the Gerudo clothes, and I guess it didn’t take. I feel like nothing exists outside of this tent.

I know that the outfit Urbosa gave me is thin, but it’s really comfortable. Maybe if I put it back on, I’ll be able to fall asleep again and whatever shit I’m going through will end. It’s worth a try. Honestly, I’m kind of excited to wear it again. Here goes!

Goodnight,

Link

**0 B.C., 3 Marinch**

The sound of the rain is really relaxing sometimes. Zelda and I were traveling by Deya Village, and it started coming down hard. Luckily there was a pretty big tree nearby, so we sheltered there. Offered apples to the shrine, you know the drill. I practiced some sword forms since I’ve been a bit behind, and Zelda took a short rest and watched me. Just as the clouds were starting to move past us, she asked me something that caught me off-guard. She wanted to know if I would have chosen a different path, if my dad hadn’t been such a high-ranking swordsman. I…don’t know? I still don’t know after thinking about it for a while. So many people are counting on me right now, and I can’t afford to slip up and fantasize about would-be’s and might-have-been’s. I barely talk anymore when it’s not in private. If I’m being honest, I don’t really like the sound of my own voice. It’s too deep. But on top of that, I’m thinking some unusual things lately. It’s probably best not to speak too much, or I might say something I’d regret. There are too many eyes on me now, too much at stake. One misplaced word, and I might not be able to be Champion anymore. I can’t afford that. Staying strong is the only way I’ll get through this, and maybe if I just focus hard enough on my work those stray thoughts will go away over time.

So I’ll keep to only voicing my thoughts in here, and the next time I’m in Hateno village I’ll buy a nice, sturdy lock for this journal. Nobody can blame me for being a bit cautious.

Sincerely,

Link

**0 B.C., 12 Faepril**

Is it wrong to be jealous of someone else’s clothes? What about a woman’s clothes?

Zelda and I traveled all the way to Akkala on horseback so that she could pray at the Spring of Power again. It’s something that she does every once in a while, though King Rhoam probably wishes it were more often. She’s really getting the hang of caring for her horse—it makes me happy that she actually listened to my advice. Maybe it’s a sign that she’s starting to trust me more? She hasn’t yelled at me since the ancient columns incident, at any rate.

But that’s not what I wanted to write about the most tonight. It’s hard to believe, but this is the first time that I’ve gone with Zelda to one of her prayer sojourns. We were going to do the Spring of Courage last month in Faron, but there were lightning storms for a solid week out of the Thundra Plateau. Eventually, we just packed up and left. The court’s meteorologist says that sometimes wind blows stormy air(?) out from that region, but I’m not sure how much stock I put in that. Sometimes I think that the weather in Hyrule just does whatever it wants.

I’m getting sidetracked again. The point is that right before arriving at the Spring of Power, Zelda put on this beautiful white dress. I’d only heard of it before now—it’s supposed to be tailored in the likeness of the Goddess herself, and Zelda really looked the part. But while she was praying and I was standing guard just outside of the Spring, the only thing I could think of was ~~what it would be like~~ how I would look wearing her dress. Wow, that was hard to write. I guess sneaking into Gerudo Town all those times really got to me. ~~Or maybe I’ve been like this the whole time and I’m just starting to notice?~~ I feel guilty. Zelda got really upset after her prayers didn’t work again, and I comforted her, but I didn’t really feel any particular way about it. I was too focused on her dress to think of anything else. Those folds in the fabric, the way the moonlight gleamed off of her necklace and bracelets. How beautiful I might look if I were to put it on. Am I a monster? I don’t think I am. I do everything right. Why do I feel so guilty? What’s wrong with me?

Anyway, I should go to bed. We’re going to set out for the home stretch in the morning and reach the castle by sundown. I need my sleep. This probably isn’t the last time I’ll end up writing about this. At least I have a lock on my journal now.

 ~~Sincerely~~ Love,

Link

**0 B.C., 13 Mayru**

I took a short break from guarding Zelda yesterday and spent the evening in Kakariko Village. There was some intel that the Yiga Clan was planning on stealing an ancient relic from the village, and after saving the princess’s life at the Oasis the Sheikah knew that I could hold my own against those cowards.

Impa and I spent the night camped out in plainclothes, right by the fire at the center of town. Sometimes, there’s nothing quite as effective as hiding in plain sight. The Yiga eventually showed up and I made them regret it, but the most interesting part of the night was listening to Impa tell stories by the fire to pass the time.

She’s only about five years older than me, but she really knows how to tell a story. I heard that she had a lot of younger siblings growing up, so that might be part of it. The best story she told me was one about the Great Fairy at the edge of the village. According to her, there was once a Sheikah who was born a girl but knew from a young age that he was meant to be a boy. When he became a teenager, his body started changing in ways he didn’t like, but his parents said that he would learn to accept the young woman he was becoming. So one night, he snuck out and went to the Great Fairy with his most prized possession—a wooden top that his great-grandfather carved for him before he passed. It meant so much to him because his great-grandfather had let him wear boy’s clothes when he came over and had always accepted him for who he was. The boy gave this toy to the Fairy and asked for his body to be whole, the way that it was supposed to be.

The potential of an offering to a Great Fairy is based on how much it’s worth to the person giving it. Most people use rupees because they have an agreed-on value, but this wooden top was so beloved to the boy that the Fairy’s power surged with the might of a hurricane. She was able to grant his wish, and the boy’s body changed to what he knew it should have been all along. Later in his life, he went on to help create the Divine Beasts that we unearthed just last year. The moral of the story? It’s important to listen to those we love and accept them for who they are. With enough support, everyone has the potential to do great things.

Impa’s story got me thinking: am I anything like the boy in the story? Sometimes, I dream that I’m a woman. And when the ladies-in-waiting in the castle talk about their childhoods as young girls, I get a pang of sadness and envy. But something tells me that whatever quality it was that made the boy in the story worthy of changing into his true self, I don’t have _enough_ of it. He had known he was a boy since he was little. I went through puberty, no problem—these thoughts only started surfacing earlier this year, maybe about four months ago. I think it’s hopeless. Even if I _did_ have a magical rapport with a Great Fairy, nobody would ever accept me if I changed. And what if I regretted it? I’m just so confused. But I don’t think I’ve been through enough or known from a young enough age to deserve to change like the boy was able to. If it were _my_ story, the Great Fairy would probably just laugh at me. And if I asked the people I trust for their thoughts—Mipha, Daruk, even Zelda now—they would probably tell me what I already know. My body’s already whole, and I’ll accept that in time. Everything will be back to normal soon.

Wow, I didn’t mean to write for so long. It’s probably time to call it a day and go to bed before it gets too late. Still, I’m glad that I got some of my thoughts down on paper. I wish I felt more sure about all of this.

Love,

Link

**0 B.C., 14 Valoon**

Time really flies, doesn’t it? I’ve been so busy since my last entry, making preparations to accompany Zelda up Mount Lanayru to the Spring of Wisdom. She’s been waiting to pray there almost her whole life, and tomorrow’s her seventeenth birthday. We crossed the Lanayru Promenade today and made camp right by the East Gate. There’s no sense in going any further, it’s pretty cold past this point and the sun’s already getting low in the sky. Dinner was good, we took some quality provisions from the castle. Only the best for Zelda’s big journey, King Rhoam said. Honestly, I’m not sure whether he cares more about his daughter or just the fact that she’ll be fulfilling some “duty” by praying in freezing cold water. She’s vented to me a bit about how he treats her, and I’ve seen some of it myself. If this is the best way for Zelda to unlock her sealing power, then great! But he can afford to show a little warmth towards her now and again. My dad was much the same way before he passed away. I’d like to see His Highness endure an hour-long meditation in freezing water, that might teach him some empathy.

While Zelda and I were making our way down the Promenade, we had an interesting conversation. Well, I say conversation. She did most of the talking, like usual. She said that all of the princesses in Hyrule, for centuries and centuries, have been named Zelda. It’s some kind of royal tradition, so she’s always wondered what her name would have been if she was born a boy. She said that one of her favorite boy names was Brigo, after a character in a book she had loved when she was little. He guarded a footbridge and kept people from falling into the swift river below. She said that she might like something like that if she weren’t a princess—a simple life where she did a little bit of good in her corner of the world and made an honest living for herself. Well, I guess in this case it would be _himself._

It got me thinking back to the question she asked me before, about whether I would choose a different path for myself if I hadn’t been destined to wield a sword since I was little. What _if_ I had been born a girl and grown up into a woman? I asked Zelda what she thought my name would be if I was a girl, and she said ‘Linkle’ as a joke. Can you believe that? I mean, put at least a _little_ bit of creativity into it. Still, it feels okay for a name. Linkle. Linkle. Linkle. It almost sounds like a good fit when I write it out enough.

What if after all this, I just wore nothing but veiled Gerudo outfits and went by the name Linkle forever? Urbosa would know, of course, but it would be our little secret. I could just live in Gerudo town and get a job in a shop. No more sword fighting, no more eyes on me. I would just…be me. There’s even a Great Fairy in that corner of the world, I think. What if…

But no, I have work to do. I don’t think my duties are ever going to end, and if all this goes well and I’m really unlucky I might even get _promoted._ Ugh. Anyway, I’m going to go to sleep now so that I have energy for tomorrow’s hike up the mountain. I probably won’t have another chance to write an entry before we’re back down again, so hopefully it goes well! Maybe Zelda can master her sealing power before Calamity Ganon has the chance to appear. I don’t know what we’ll do if she doesn’t, but that’s something to keep to myself. There’s enough pressure on her already, she doesn’t need me adding to it. Wish us luck!

Love,

~~Link~~

...Linkle


	2. The First Month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linkle's finally awake after a century of sleep, and the Blight Ganons aren't the only demons she'll have to face! Confronted with the reality of her newfound femininity, she embarks on the long journey towards discovering her past and understanding how it relates to the woman that she is today.

**100 A.C., 14 Days Awake**

I’m having a hard time thinking of what to write here. For a while I wasn’t sure that I _would_ write anything, but I think it’s important to keep my thoughts somewhere since I don’t really have anybody to share them with.

Impa gave me this diary earlier today after I came back to her with my first true memory. More on that later. It took a while to get the lock off, the key’s been lost. But the thing about carrying around eight different swords is that they’re great for cutting through metal! Right now I’m sitting at a table in the Shuteye Inn in Kakariko. I don’t want to travel any further until I make sense of some things.

Let’s start from the beginning: I woke up two weeks ago, if I’ve been keeping track right. For those two weeks, I’ve been a stranger to myself. I’ve cleared shrines, helped people, killed monsters, even tamed a beautiful blue horse and named her Spirit after the color of the late king’s aura. The experience hasn’t been the worst, and I’ve actually felt pretty good since waking up—I have this weird euphoria where I’m just glad to be myself. My body feels whole, and for a while I’d thought it was because the Shrine of Resurrection made me stronger or something. Now, I think the real reason is something different.

All this time though, I’d been trying to get a lead on how I could start remembering things from my old life. People say that I was some sort of powerful knight, that I protected the Princess, but I can’t remember any of that. I’ve been told my name was Link, but I feel a little bit gross anytime that anybody tries to use it for me. It’s really weird not having a name that fits. The weirdest thing is how confused people act if they knew the old me. It’s only Impa and Purah so far, and only because I’m wearing the Sheikah Slate, but they act like I’m supposed to be a different version of myself. Paya said Impa told her a man would come to Kakariko with the Sheikah slate, and it took me a bit to reassure her that I was really a woman. The whole experience left me sick to my stomach. _Was_ I a man?

I know a little bit more now, but in a way I think things are more confusing than they were before. Earlier today, I went to the Eastern Gate on the Lanayru Promenade where one of the pictures on my slate was taken. And I had a memory. I saw five people, four of which I knew must have been the Champions. I saw the Princess, too. I think her name is Zelda? The weirdest thing is how I saw myself. For a little bit I thought it might have been a trick of my memory being so vivid, but ~~I was~~ ~~in a man’s~~ my body felt different. I was brawnier, a bit taller, and…I don’t know how to describe it, but my muscle was in all the wrong places. It was like I was made of wrong-shaped body parts. Was I a man? I thought so for a little bit. I started connecting the dots at that point based on what I knew and I was feeling sick and a little scared.

When I asked Impa afterward, she said that it was better I get that information from myself rather than hearing it from her. But the way that she handed me the blue tunic I was wearing in the memory felt pretty damning.

Then I read this diary. _My_ diary. Nothing in here feels familiar, but I’m sure it was me who wrote it. Finally, some answers. Was I a man? I think I can finally stop asking myself that—the answer, thankfully, is no. People _thought_ I was one, but I definitely had my doubts even before the Calamity. That Sheikah fable I wrote about in an earlier entry is sticking in my head. Did the Shrine of Resurrection change me in the last 100 years? Did it make my body whole like the Great Fairy did to the Sheikah boy in the story? And if so, did I deserve something so wonderful happening to me? I must have. Maybe I always did.

I’m a woman now, and in a way I always have been. Part of me wants to say that I was happier before I learned who I used to be, traveling around as some nameless lady knight. But I don’t think that I can really own my future without understanding my past. I’m here now, and I’m myself. Now, I get to figure out what that means. At least I finally have a name: call me Linkle.

**100 A.C., 18 Days Awake**

Dear Diary,

I remembered Mipha today. I really, truly remembered her.

Zora’s Domain is a beautiful place, and a sight for sore eyes after the two-day trek that I made to get here. It really is a work of art. But honestly, my head is still spinning from what just happened. Maybe it was the fact that I’ve been here before, or maybe it was Mipha’s memorial statue, but something jogged my memory. I can picture her now, just as beautiful as past me wrote she was. I wish that she could see me now. Knowing that we’ll never be able to hold each other again breaks my heart.

But would things be the same between us if she were still alive? She fell in love with me when I still looked like a man, and I don’t know how she would react if she knew that she was dating a woman the whole time. Could we still be together? Would she still love me for the person I am today? ~~Would it even be okay for me to date another woman as a woman?~~

~~I just don’t~~

Wait. The armor that King Dorephan gave me. I’ve been wearing it this whole time, but maybe I’ve been in shock? How didn’t I realize? Mipha made this so that it fits me perfectly. And it _does_. Not my old body, but my new one. Did she _know_? How?

I feel seen in a way I haven’t felt since I first woke up. Mipha knew. I don’t know how, but she knew who I saw myself as. This is female armor. I guess she loved me for me after all. And I’ll never be able to thank her. I’m going to go have a good cry.

Love,  
Linkle

**100 A.C., 19 Days Awake**

Dear Diary,

I’m going to leave for Vah Ruta in a bit. I know that I’m not going to get to see Mipha again, but I just feel so…guilty? I don’t know, that might not be a good way to describe it. It’s just…I’ve been thinking a lot about Mipha lately. The relationship that we shared, the fact that she tailored armor to the body I have now, and even knowing all of that I just don’t know if I have any right to say that I was hers.

I know that I’m still the same person I was back then, but without most of my memories it feels like I’m literally someone different. Maybe I would feel that way even if I _did_ have all my memories, just because I’ve changed so much and grown so much into my womanhood. Mipha fell in love with Link. I’m Linkle. Should I even be wearing the armor that she made for _him?_

That’s probably a silly question. I shouldn’t be wondering that, considering that she didn’t make this armor to fit Link, she made it to fit me. She would probably take me back in a heartbeat if she were still alive today. Why is that so hard for me to accept? I just don’t believe it, no matter how many times I keep telling it to myself. Anyway, I have to wear this armor regardless if I want to get anywhere near Vah Ruta and save Zora’s Domain. But I have such a strong sense of disconnect.

I wrote a lot back in Kakariko about how important it is for me to understand my past, but part of me just wants to burn all those bridges and start over. I still cringe whenever anybody with an old connection to me calls me Link, and in Zora’s Domain there are more than a few people who knew me back then. Wouldn’t it be so easy to just squirrel myself away in Hateno after this, where nobody knows who I used to be? I could buy a house, get a job guarding the village, ~~maybe even find a cute lady to fall in love with.~~

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I guess I’ll just figure it out later. Maybe it really is important for me to understand my past, no matter how painful it is. But the freedom of anonymity is so tempting. Anyway, I’ll write again after I get back from the reservoir, hopefully sooner than later. See you soon.

Love,

Linkle

**100 A.C., 21 Days Awake**

Dear Diary,

It’s been three weeks since I first woke up, and one since I had my first memory and learned about who I used to be. The doubts I wrote about in my last entry stayed with me all the way to Vah Ruta, and they only got stronger after I realized that Mipha’s spirit was still trapped there. Part of me just wanted to do my job and get out as quickly as possible so I wouldn’t have to face her.

But when I finally reactivated everything and killed the monster controlling it all, the weirdest thing happened. I saw Mipha in her spirit form, and the whole time she talked to me like I was still the man she used to know. I got the sense that she was just saying what she planned to say all along, and she didn’t really _see_ me. But if that were the case, how did she know it was me?

I just had a thought. Maybe Mipha couldn’t see what I looked like, but she saw me the way that one soul sees another. She called me Link because that’s what she used to call me, and as far as her spirit was concerned, I’m the same person I was then. That would also explain why the king’s spirit didn’t react to me being a woman when we met on the Plateau.

There’s a lot to unpack here, but in one sense it makes me feel a bit better. I was worried that I wasn’t the person Mipha fell in love with, but she still seems to think so. She loved me for me, whatever body I happen to be in and whatever gender I see myself as. Maybe now I can stop feeling guilty about all this. Still, I’m a little bit conflicted. She saw me, but she didn’t see me for the woman I’ve become. That’s more than a little painful, and I don’t think I’ll ever get the closure from her that I really need. I also have to prepare myself for the fact that I’ll probably meet the spirits of the other Champions in the other Divine Beasts, and they’ll probably recognize me in the same roundabout way. Is it freeing to not have to explain myself to them, or would I rather they saw me as I am now? I think it’s a little bit of both. I’ll have to see how I feel when I get to the next one. For now, I’m going to rest in Zora’s Domain a bit longer and then get back on the road.

Love,

Linkle

**100 A.C., 25 Days Awake**

Dear Diary,

Why do all the cute girls turn out to be Yiga Clan members in disguise? Doesn’t the world know that it’s really hard to have an ongoing crisis about if it’s okay to like women when I keep running into so many beautiful ones? I mean, come on.

~~Also I had another memory about Zelda at the Spring of Power earlier today and she was really pretty too thanks bye~~

**100 A.C., 27 Days Awake**

Dear Diary,

I’m at the Foothill Stable right now, relaxing after some time in Goron City. I met Yunobo a little earlier, and now that he’s safe and sound I’m just waiting for him and Bludo to loosen up Vah Rudania for me. So far, so good. I even had the money to afford a full flamebreaker outfit! Maybe I’ll use the time to hunt for fireproof lizards so that I can get everything enhanced by a Great Fairy before going into the divine beast.

But that’s not why I wanted to write this entry. I’m having more thoughts about my gender, and I need to get them down on paper before I forget. I only came down here because I’m pretty sure that if I tried to write at the Rollin’ Inn in Goron City, my paper would spontaneously combust. Anyway, back to the point.

The Gorons refer to everyone they like as “brother” ~~, probably because they’re all men. Or do they just look like men? Maybe I shouldn’t pretend to understand the gender of a race that all looks one way~~. Whatever they are, that’s their term of endearment for everybody. It really bugs me, and I think it bugged past me too based on one of the first entries that I wrote. I know that they don’t mean anything by it, it’s just the word they use. But I’m a Hylian, not a Goron, and hearing that term is jarring because it feels like they keep calling me a man. Maybe the closest thing for Hylians is how some people refer to everyone as ‘you guys?’ The problem is, I don’t really know what to do about it. I know that I’m a woman, and this doesn’t make me doubt myself. But being called ‘brother’ still hurts and I feel like since everyone’s using it, it’s hard to go to people one by one asking for them to stop. And that’s if they _did_ care enough to stop using it for me. Most of them don’t know me at all; why would they listen? And even if they did, it’s not like I’ll talk to them much afterward anyway.

Maybe I can ask the Gorons that know me a little bit better? If I can get even one person to call me something other than ‘Brother’, I’ll be happy. Maybe Yunobo? He seems nice. I’ll write an update in here if I manage to pull it off. I’ve got to go, see you later!

Love,

Linkle

 _P.S:_ Yunobo is calling me Sister now! The first time he said it, I almost cried. He doesn’t seem to understand why it’s so important to me, but he says that friends should be willing to make changes in how they act towards one another if it makes the other person happy. That means so much to me! I feel like I’ve made my first real friend since waking up. It’s kind of funny that he’s the grandson of my best friend from 100 years ago. Anyway, that’s it. I’ll write more after Vah Rudania!

**100 A.C., 31 Days Awake**

Dear Diary,

Happy first full month of being awake! I met Daruk’s spirit in Vah Rudania yesterday. Just like with Mipha, I have a lot of mixed feelings about the experience.

Daruk was my best friend before the Calamity, and in starting to remember him I’ve begun to feel that warmth and closeness again. Well, I’m either feeling that or the warmth of the active volcano I’m standing on. Maybe both. But the point is that when I saw Daruk for the first time in 100 years, I smiled. I was genuinely happy to see that his spirit was okay.

But then he called me ‘little guy’, and it all fell apart. Daruk, like Mipha, could only see my spiritual essence—at least, that’s the theory I’m going with. To him, I’m the same person he knew before his death. And in a way, I am. But there’s something especially painful about looking your best friend in the eyes and knowing that he’ll never see you as the woman you’ve become. I’ve made up my mind: It’s not freeing that the former Champions still see me the way that they used to, it’s agonizing. These are people I deeply cared about from my old life that I want to bring into my new one, but I know that they’ll never be able to make that leap. They’ll never see me as me.

Still, I have Daruk’s protection now. It’s comforting to know that in a sense, I was able to take him with me into my new life after all. That’s all for now. I’m spending one last night in Goron City, and I’ll say goodbye to Yunobo in the morning. Then, it’s west to the next Divine Beast.

Love,

Linkle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading my newest chapter! While the initial plan for this fic was to just have one chapter for pre-Calamity and one for post-Calamity, it became clear pretty quickly that that wouldn't be enough for everything that I wanted to write. I've been playing back through the Linkle Mod in Master Mode so that I can write diary entries in real time as I move through the game, and there are so many details and emotional beats that I want to hit. Linkle has been through so much, and I want to capture her full emotional experience as I go.
> 
> Writing this as a trans narrative has not only been a rewarding experience for me, it's been a healing one too. I'm 1.5 years into transition, and going back to process what it was like when I first came out is helping me to get some additional closure. At the same time, Linkle's experience as a baby trans is really unique and it's exciting to try and capture that in a genuine way. I've gotten comments in chapter 1 from a lot of people who said that I've done a good job representing the emotions they experienced when they were first coming out, and every one of those comments has meant so much to me. I hope that as I get into new territory, this continues to be meaningful for trans readers while still being interesting and entertaining for my entire audience.
> 
> Some details on why I wrote this chapter the way I did:  
> 1) The Linkle Mod changes the character model, the sounds she makes and the clothing she wears, but not the flashbacks or the voice-acted lines in cutscenes. While I've made the allowance that the characters Linkle interacts with in real time would probably react to her as she is now, I've decided to make it canon to this story that the spirits of the Champions still refer to her as Link as they would in their voice-acted lines, and that each memory she has of the past shows her as Link.  
> 2) I also recognize that this fic is written in a more serious tone than what a lot of folks who are familiar with Linkle would expect. The reason for this is that this fic is not about Hyrule Warriors Linkle, it's about Breath of the Wild Linkle. They haven't been shaped by the same experiences. While HW Linkle grew up being told by her grandmother that she was born to be a hero and developed a lot of self-confidence early on, BOTW Linkle grew up with so much pressure to succeed that she had to turn inward and develop a vibrant inner life. Just like different Links throughout the timeline have different personalities, different Linkles do too.
> 
> Stay tuned for an ongoing gay crisis, genderqueer Gerudo analysis, and the long road ahead for a smol trans lesbian who's struggling against all odds to just be herself. And please let me know what you think! I love reading your comments and receiving kudos.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you all liked this first chapter! I stayed up all night writing it, which is such a mood. This fic is something that I've wanted to write for a while, ever since the Linkle Mod stunned and inspired me a few months ago. If you don't know what the Linkle Mod is, look it up!
> 
> I based Link's journal entries in this chapter off of the stages of denial and questioning that I went through before fully coming out to myself. There is no one universal trans experience, but this is what spoke to me. If you have questions or comments, please feel free to write them below--I always try my best to get back to people quickly, and comments/kudos light up my day. Hopefully, I'll be able to write and post the second chapter within the next few weeks. This fic should be on the shorter side compared to my other ones.


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